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Women choose their men a little like they choose their clothes. They'll buy a dress even though it isn't exactly what they want or doesn't quite fit, thinking they will fix it when they get it home. I think that's why a lot of women like bad boys. They see them as exciting raw material.

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- Never surprise your husband. I surprised my husband once. He's now my ex-husband.

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- What kind of qualities will you be looking for? - Sense of humor... most important. - Why do you women always say that the sense of humor is the most important thing when we all know that's a lie?

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Chearleader: Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

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Sex and the City - It stars that girl which every girl thinks is a sex symbol. And every guy thinks she's not.

...Chester A. Bum

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There is only one great good - knowledge and there is only one great evil - ignorance.

...Socrates

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Teacher: Rachel? Did you just throw up?
Student: No
Teacher: You missed the toilet.
Student: The girl who was throwing up before me left that. I tried but it seems I don't have a gag reflex.
Teacher: One day when you're older that will turn out to be a gift. Let's talk...